The ramblings of a writer

Sometimes being a word person sucks. I don't have the words when face to face with a person I don't know well. In a social setting I'm a blithering idiot. I know this about myself. I've tried not to be so damned tongue tied. The thoughts are in my head they just don't seem to come out of my mouth the way I'd like them to. And I have offended people.

No, say it isn't so, Mercy! Not you!

I don't mean to. I'm very focused on what I think and know. I'm also very blunt. I don't know how to be that person who smiles and offers platitudes and other meaningless small talk. I'm too busy to beat around the bush. It serves no purpose to not get to the point. I have a tendency to say what I'm thinking when I think it. And there have been many an occasion in which I've had to eat serious crow. Not really for what I said so much as the destruction my words caused. I have this insane ability to lie, I mean seriously lie. I can look a person in the eye and lie my ass off. But I also have this insane need to tell the truth no matter how or who it hurts. I have no idea which one is my curse. Or which is the blessing. Lie to spare the feelings. Or truth because it's the truth good or bad.

And God knows the crap I've spouted on this blog, some absolutely necessary, some not so much. I took a lot of shit for coming forward with the situation at Silver. I lost fans over that. Despite that I was in the right, that the publisher stole from me, and my fellow authors, I felt some heavy handed judgment on that issue. An issue that is still eight months unresolved.

So this past week an author spoke her inner most thoughts. And yes, what I read of her post made me angry. And I'm not going to defend the words. Just want to say that it's just words.

Seriously, this is a scary place to be. Writing a book is not easy. Putting it out there for people to read and critique is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I've given birth four times. All were difficult. One nearly killed me. I struggle with my health. I have fibromyalgia, and suffer severe panic attacks just going into large gatherings. To go to my children's graduation is a massive stress inducing situation for me. The terror of just going into the unknown is incredible. So to take my words, my stories and put them out in the big wide world for people to crush under their boot heels is terrifying. I go to graduations and conferences and to the DMV. I find the nearest exit and the restroom so that I can escape if I need to. I do this because I can't NOT do this. I can't be a prisoner in my home because my fears of putting myself out there sometimes eat me alive. I can't keep my stories to myself. I want people to read them. I want my work to mean something, to matter to someone besides me. I've read letters that condemned me for writing shameless stories glorifying rape and abuse, when I never glorified either. I read letters thanking me for writing those same stories. Depending on which side of the issue the reader was, was how the letter or the review was written. For those on the bad side, those books were for you. The pain came from a place I know well. I opened a vein and bled for those books. My best books are the ones where I bleed. I know this. But it scares people who've never bled. Life is dark for some. And I'll be the first to say that I have books that I wrote that I love over books that I don't love so much. But they're all mine. I wrote books that pushed boundaries. I wrote books that conformed to industry standards. They are all mine and I love them all. I love my fans. I love my readers, and my haters. I have haters because I struck a nerve. I have fans for that same reason. One hand for each. Equally balanced.

Why am I writing this? Because to see that person attacked for words she wishes she could take back, yeah, I've been there. Not to that degree. I don't know the writer. I've never had words with her. Wouldn't know her if I tripped over her. But I know the feelings, the why and what the fuck is going on, feeling of falling into something without having a GPS to guide me through it. And this is a murky, swamp with sharp teeth and poisonous creatures lurking at every turn. Welcome to the world of watching every word you say or write to the point of not wanting to say anything for fear of offending someone. Welcome to the world of growing dragon hide one scale at a time. Welcome to the world of genre fiction. Embrace it while you can because tomorrow it can all be gone. We can all be gone. With the flick of Mother Nature's hand. And I for one have books to write and fun to have and lives to touch, while I have the grace and time to do it.

Peace,
Mercy

Cover Reveal

July 15, 2013

from MJC Press

A tale of two graduations

I might not have ever mentioned this, but I have four kids. And by kids I mean I have three adults that I gave birth to and one nearly seven year old beauty who might one day take over the world, and not in a good way. Have I mentioned this before?

So the school year from hell is over, okay not completely, demon child still has a week left, but the older kids are all out. And two of them still live in my house and had nothing to do today. As for me, I slept. This weekend wore me the fuck out.

Two, count them, two graduation ceremonies in one weekend. Oldest daughter, or the one I call over achiever who loves taking on more than she can handle, who is on one hand incredibly intelligent and on the other hand dumb as a box of rocks, completed her undergraduate degree in Archeology in four years. She graduated cum laude from the university honors program, which means she took the harder courses when there were mundane every day 101s out there, she took 101 honors. So that 3.5 she held all four years was a hard fought for 3.5. She had all the bright and colorful scarves, hoods, and tasselly things hanging around her neck. So proud. Along with her my son in law, her husband, graduated from the masters program with a degree in toxicology and sciences that I've never heard of. Both of them will be attending another university in the fall, Aislinn to pursue her masters and Jason, his doctorate.

And on the other end of the weekend was my third child, the one I call middle daughter. Alaina. Her year has been the worst. Her school, well all of my kids went there, but she's a current student and was most affected, was hit by a tornado on Christmas day. The entire second semester of her senior year was spent in a group of portables (trailers) on the grounds of a middle school. Most of her friends were able to take the online option which was only available to students with one class left to complete their diploma, Alaina had two, and had to sit through the year. To say that she's another over achiever is....well, she's super intelligent, but super not interested in anything except Doctor Who. She just didn't care. Her kindergarten teacher wanted to hold her back a year because she was not as mature as the other kids. We've fought long and hard to keep her moving forward. Prove that teacher wrong. Of course, that teacher wasn't wrong, Alaina, for lack of anything better to say is not a mature young woman of almost 18, she's more on the maturity level of a 15 year old. But by god she made it through school and graduated on time without being held back for any reason. So of all my kids just seeing her graduate Monday night brought on the tears and I couldn't stop them. I cried at all the ceremonies, but I'm just so damned happy this kid made it through. I'm so fucking proud of her. She didn't graduate with honors or with a 3.0 but dammit she graduated and for this kid that's what counts. I'm hoping that college is easier for her. She wants to take drama and history classes. In January she had a melt down. She wasn't going to apply to colleges. She didn't want any more school. She hated school and she hated me and...then my son brought home his first project in his glass blowing class and suddenly college had a shiny side that high school didn't have. She found out they have fencing classes and that she doesn't have to go full time if she doesn't want to. That it's not mandatory. Take a couple classes that interest her. Step into it easy. One toe at a time. If they would offer Parkour (is that how you spell that?) she'd be in heaven. She loves jumping off of things. This is the kid that should have been diagnosed with Autism. She fits the spectrum. The kid that has broken my heart more times than I can count. And she did it. She's out of her own personal hell. She survived it. And I'm proud of her.

Both my girls. I'm proud of them. And the two who didn't graduate this year. The lone, long suffering, only boy, and small demon child who will one day rule this world as your evil overlord and you will love her for her beauty. These are my babies. My greatest accomplishment. The legacy that will be me and their father. Walking talking pains in the ass too smart for their own good....god help us all :-)

And I'm just glad it's over and don't have to keep searching for a damn solid white dress and shoes in a size small. I'm going to sleep for a few more days and then get back to doing what I do best. Yell at kids and try to stay sane.

Mercy

Print Books and other things

So, the last week or so was a little bit of a drama over load. Let's just say that if it could go wrong it went wrong. Seriously wrong. If you were quick last week you noticed the announcement that I was releasing a paperback version of Beyond Complicated. And if you noticed a couple days later that the cover changed with no explanation then congratulations, you come here way too often. ;-)

So what's the story? I know you're wondering. So this is the story. Because Beyond Complicated was already out in paperback I had a bit of a problem getting it approved for release. I ended up having to jump through a couple hoops and wait wait wait....while I was waiting I realized that last weekend was the one year anniversary of the original release date with the original publisher and I was still having issues with that book. One year later. So in discussing this with a friend I mentioned that there are reviews where people are upset that they didn't realize the book was a menage. Never mind the pseudo incest issue, it was the menage aspect that upset a few. Soo one thing led to another and I decided that if this book is going into print and that's kind of permanent, then it needs a cover that better depicts all aspects of the book. One that doesn't leave any confusion as to what the book is about. Now I love the second cover, and I hated letting it go, but it's done and I like where my boys have ended up. And this cover, is just...it's the Kel model that does it. While the original model on the original book was close he's a bit bigger than how I pictured Kel. This Kel has the hair, the smaller build, and the attitude. And this Liam looks more like an Irish American to me than the original, he was a bit too Italian looking. And Seth, well both models from both covers are him. He's generic All American blond beef cake. Why no I don't hate Seth. He's the link that holds that whole mess together. But it's Kel for me. This beautiful young man just makes this cover for me. And now two weeks later there is once again a paperback edition of Beyond Complicated. Available on Createspace and Amazon. But I've ordered a whole box full of copies and if you'd like one signed I'd prefer you ordered straight from me. Cost is list price of $18.49 and I'll ship free in the US. International, contact me and we'll work out shipping. I take paypal.

So here's the cover. let me know what you think.

And while I was waiting for all of this mess to come to some form of cohesion I decided that I didn't have enough on plate so naturally I decided to see if maybe Six Ways from Sunday would be big enough to publish in paperback. And it is. The formatting made it a little over two hundred pages which is thick enough for a distinct spine. So instead of waiting for Sidelined to come out later this year and doing an anthology with a completely different cover I went ahead and contracted a wrap cover for Sunday as well. And the formatting and loading of this book went off without a hitch. So now I have not one but two books formatted and ready for print purchase. Again, it's available on Createspace and Amazon but I can send you a signed copy for cover price of 9.99 with free shipping.

Just contact me at celeste.mercy@yahoo.com to place an order.

Hope you like them,

Mercy

Behind Iron Lace update

For everyone who has been waiting for Lace to become available at Amazon, I have good news, it's there now. Best I can tell Amazon kept kicking it back. This happened with Beyond Complicated. They wanted to make sure I had secured my rights back to the book before they accepted it. But it's there as of tonight. Also at All Romance Ebooks and Total E Bound. Did you know that you can buy both Kindle and Nook versions of books straight from the publisher? You can. But I understand that one click thing, I really do.

AMAZON

All Romance ebooks

Total E Bound


Happy reading

Mercy