Mother of the year award goes to

Not me. I'm pretty sure I am probably ranked somewhere below Kate Gosslinn at this point in time and I have half the amount of kids, and a husband. I'm not casting stones. If I were in her shoes I would have lost my marbles a long time ago. I do not watch reality TV. And you can't prove it if I did so (sticks tongue out) there.

I assure you I have done nothing dire to my little angels. For one I only have one little angel the other three are all my size or bigger. For two I would have had to leave my writer cave to do it and I just don't have that kind of time.

So why am I worrying that I'm a horrible mother? Well, right now I have the two teens who still live at home preparing our meal. And the baby, well, she'll be five in less than a month so I can't keep calling her baby can I, so the baby knows how to set up the video game machine, I don't know what it is it makes lots of noise and I hate it that's all I know about it. Not only can she pop in the disk and turn it on, she can work the auxiliary buttons on the TV to find the right channel for game playing, and she can keep up with her older brother in Lego Star Wars. He's seventeen.

I'm a bad mother. I let my almost five year old sit for hours in front of the TV playing video games just so I can work in peace. There's no quiet. Never quiet. Someone usually the almost five year old is telling the game off for killing her. She has some interesting language. Most of which she learned from me. And believe me when your adorable little angel and she does look like an angel, says a naughty word in public you learn real fast not to laugh and to make up alternate words. She uses alternate words better than I use the real words. She hasn't quite mastered sounds like F and Sh at the beginning of words yet, so I can breathe a sigh of relief that if she did say certain words in public no one would understand her.

As for the older kids, why yes they are cooking dinner. Since when is that a crime? I'll live with burnt food if it means I don't have to cook. It's teaching them to fend for themselves when I throw them out in a couple of years. No of course I would never throw them out. I need them, who else is going to read the baby bedtime stories and get her snacks when I want to hide in my writer's cave...er work, I meant work. I did.

I'm sure one day they will write a tell all book about me. I'm sure it will all be true. And I'm sure I'll be drooling in an institution at the time so it won't really matter will it?

Yes, I love my kids. Why do you ask?


Ahh, the baby just cussed out a storm trooper for killing her. And the boy child agreed with her.

It's going to be a long long summer.

Save me. Please. I'm begging,

Mercy