Updates and Dystopian Bullshit

 If you're like me, you're just trying to stay sane right now. Two weeks. Just two damn weeks and...

Fucking hell!

So, there's no need to rehash the obvious. But the not so obvious, well, I guess we need to discuss that.

The effort in Oklahoma to make romance books illegal. Yeah, that wasn't unexpected, at least if you were paying attention last year. They've made it abundantly clear that books, all books, are enemy number one, but romance and gay literature are in the top of the pornography inclusions. So, we're watching that very closely, or I am, you should be too. Romance or any author with on page sex scenes will be subject to prosecution. 

This my friends is why I first started considering pulling my books from Amazon. That the owner is all up on the orange bandwagon being the main reason, but, I've long thought the amazon book department was something that would end up killing the book world. I won't discuss why. I'm just going to say, those laws and that site are not unrelated at this point, as far as I'm concerned. Not saying it is. But to keep a weather eye out.

So, about boycotting Amazon. Have I done that? Totally... no. But... sighs... I have purchased a few small items from the site in the last month. Things that I absolutely needed but could not find anywhere else. I'm still waiting for a bolt of batting that sells for more than a hundred dollars locally, that I bought nearly a month ago. I had no choice but to buy my college student required art supplies there after exhausting all local and other online stores for said items. I don't have prime. I don't have a KU subscription. I have only really used that site as a last resort. Unfortunately, that's going to stay an option until local shopping makes a comeback. And because, if or when my local JoAnn's closes, that will leave only hobby lobby as a fabric and other crafting option. Yes we have a Michaels. Michaels has a bit of everything. They are a jack of all trades master of none type store. You can get a lot of licensed fabric there. You can't sell items made with licensed fabric. Hobby lobby doesn't even have a portion of the fabric options JoAnn's does. 

Sorry, I'm off on a tangent. Back to books. And when I said I'd be pulling mine from the Zon... yeah, BIG BIG SIGHS.

I took most of them off. I put some of those back. I haven't had a single sale or page read in a week. And I'm okay with that. They will eventually either all come down or all go back up. Depending on which way the winds blow. But yeah, don't buy my books there. And if I do stay, I will never put anything back in Kindle Unlimited.

Now let's talk about Barnes & Noble. And that as I relisted after this last term in KU expired I noticed that some of my books were not showing in search. I couldn't even find them by searching precise title and my author name. I could find them through the direct link on the listing page. All of the MM books with two or more shirtless men were hidden. Two of the single shirtless men books were hidden. I hadn't made it through half of the titles when I noticed so, considering how very little I actually sell there, I just pulled everything. 

And Apple. Again, the ceo all up on the orange glow turd... but does anyone even buy books there anymore? I have everything available there but... nothing. There's never been much but the past year or so... let's just say I may have made a hundred bucks there all last year and that's being generous.

Now where do I prefer to have my books purchased... My Payhip Store. Obviously. I get the money immediately. You save 1 to 3 dollars off retail by buying directly from me. And I do have some signed copies available there too.

Smashwords is good. I still haven't upoloaded the Southern Scrimmage books there, I'm still working to refresh and update the back of the book stuff and reformat. I have all of the Scrimmage books and a couple of the straight rom books that I might not bother with.

And if you want to read my books without purchasing, and if you have access to, I highly recommend Kobo and their subscription service Kobo Plus. I know it's not available worldwide yet. I'm sorry about that. But if you can get it, you get a one month free trial, and it's $7.99 US a month after that. AND as a reader you will find titles that haven't been available in KU before. But, and here's the best part, for us writer/publishers we do not have to be exclusive to the service and can have our ebooks available in wide release... AND!!!! if you as the reader like to re-read your borrowed books, we get paid for all reads, not just the first one like in KU.

So, to recap:

 Payhip Store, for immediate in my pocket money and a 1 to 3 dollar savings for you.

Smashwords because they pay more royalty to authors.

Kobo, because Kobo Plus, and well, they're Canadian and if shit does hit the fan like it seems like it might, they might be the only book seller left for romance.

APPLE if you like them. 

Amazon, if you must.

If you find my books free somewhere other than where I've listed above, then you are pirating my books and because of people like you I can no longer afford to write... so... do with that what you will.

Links below

Peace,

Mercy

PS: You can get the Kobo app on most devices even certain Kindles. I read on my ancient iPad.

KOBO PLUS LINK

PAYHIP STORE LINK

I Know What I Said... But....

 There are updates you should know about if you still care to follow me. 

Social media and publishers and stuff like that.

I try so very hard not to be political in my public life. I know some people find that to be political in and of itself. By not being political is political. I loathe and detest politics and religion and everything designed to draw them v us lines. I have always hoped we can, as a people, rise above that. But, that is not going to be the case any time soon. In fact, it will get really bad, really quickly, and because I am non-binary and I have two trans children, I feel I have to draw lines now. 

After the election I chose to wait and watch, knowing that the incoming administration had planned. That was very clear. The watching was to see where other players would align. And I'm sorry to say that I can not continue to support platforms that have aligned to endanger me and mine.

So, it is with great sorrow that I inform you that I have pulled all but four books from Amazon. Right now those four books are still in KU until Sunday and I'm going to let them ride until then. I will pull them on Sunday night. I will not wait for them to fall out Monday morning. 

I know so many of you will not understand, and honestly, because Amazon is still where I make the most royalties, this was not done hastily and without thought. I've discussed this since November. I can not continue to add to the wealth of a person who sides with an ideology that will harm my family. You are indeed free to use any site you choose.

Right now, I am slowly updating all of my manuscript files and uploading through Draft 2 Digital to Smashwords, Tolino, Vivlio, Gardners, and Fable, to reach non US audiences who can't get Kobo yet. I have not chosen to list with the choice of libraries D2D offers yet, due to most of them having a tendency to block my more erotic books. But I will once I have all 33 books available again. At the moment only 10 of the 15 books I've uploaded to D2D are available, 5 have been in publishing mode for more than a week. So we wait.

You can find all but five books on Apple and Kobo, and in my Payhip store.

I am actively looking for an alternative to Payhip. 

I am also considering Substack. I, being an elder GenXer have no idea what Substack is, but I'm working on learning. I'm tired of learning new things. But alas, things change, and ya gotta roll with or turn into a Boomer.

About social media...

SIGHS!

Fucking social media. If I didn't need it I would leave all of it.

I left Twitter and will never return. I closed my Instagram mostly because I never used it, and I left Threads because I honestly didn't like the format. And that was before Meta chose to go darkside. I had planned to ride out the FB boycott this week but it we had a blizzard on the gulf coast and I chose to share that with the friends I still have there. But, as someone on Bluesky said just today, I will be staying on FB because I refuse to be driven from that site and someone needs to be there to fight the fight. Even if all I do is share snow day pictures that's what I'm going to do. As much light as I can into a world about to go really dark.

I am staying on TikTok even with the suspicion that it is now owned by Meta. And with hopes that I can get out of my own fucking way, I'll make content there. 

Book chatting and other less personal topics will be on Bluesky. I kinda like it there. I would encourage you to give it a try. Just like other platforms, it is what you make it to be. 

And about blogging.

I don't know. I'll keep to when I have something to report for now. If I feel the need to do that more often then I will.

For now, my birthday is Monday. I'm looking for boxed Butter Pecan cake, which seems to have disappeared from stores in my area, and after that, who knows. 

Maybe I'll share a personal secret I've been keeping for the past year.

Later.

And I hope it's warm where you are, because it sure as hell isn't here.

Peace,

Mercy

My back yard last night.

First Thursday

So, here we are, in a brand new month, in a brand new year. An odd year. Given the events of yesterday, I suspect it's going to be a really ODD year. So, how have we all been? Did we make it through the holiday madness with our sanity intact? Are we ready to... eh... why do we need to start off all bright and sunshiny and refreshed for what is just another day week month year? I've never known.

SIGHS!

I don't like January. I was born in January. I was born on a Monday in 1969, and my birthday is on Monday this year. YAY! Another year of, if I want something special for the day, I have to do it myself.

And that's why I hate January. And February. After age ten I was lucky to even get a birthday card. 

But, that's a whole different topic, one I'm not going any further into. I'm nearly 56, my parents have been gone a long time. Nothing to change any of that now.

Anyway, I'd love to do one of those 2024 wrap up posts. Of all the books I've read, or written, or whatever. The truth is I think I read three books last year. I stopped reading a series that I enjoyed because it should have ended at least three books back. The author keeps dragging it out. The books get shorter and shorter because there's no story to tell, but the price stays the same. I had KU for the first part of last year, I think I put a hundred books in my library over that time period. I didn't make it through the first chapter of any of them.

Bad writing. It's all just badly written outlines of what could be good stories. But most of those books were in the top 100 charts, the authors filling more than one slot at a time. And it's all just terrible. Hastily written, no plot, bad sex, just... ugh.

I haven't written anything. Mostly because, well, because I don't write hastily. It takes a long time for me to work through a plot. To get the tension just right. To build a story. And that type of writing is no longer in vogue. And believe me, I've tried to sling out some quickie first person fluff piece. I can't. It all bogs down with drama and... yeah.

Excuses, excuses.

Also, I really just don't want to read or write sex anymore. I'm old. I keep saying. My three oldest kids are now older than most of my characters. I just can't write about young people having sex. It gives me the icks. I feel dirty.

Nor do I want to write dramatic fiction. You do not want me writing some regular fiction drama about life and I have no real work place experience. I worked service industry. Mostly fast food and pizza delivery. I spent six months in a sewing factory. It took me six months to clear all of the fabric fuzz from my lungs, and I wore a mask. Stops here and there to get out of the service industry that were worse than restaurant work. And my fantasy/ paranormal books have been widely avoided.

Amazon now has a feature on their KDP dashboard that lets you see your lifetime sales and page reads. Until last year you could only see the past 90 days. I went through my lifetime data yesterday. That lifetime starting November 11, 2011. And KU starting in October 2014. From 2014 to 2016 I had several million page reads each year. 2 in 2014 for the ten or so weeks I was in KU. 5 in 2015 for the year and a bit under 8 in 2016 with Out of the Blues being the top book that year. In 2017 I didn't even reach a million. The graph drop is startling. It wasn't a gradual decline. It was a deep dive off of Mt Everest. And I've never recovered. And I don't know why. What happened in 2016 to 2017? There was no gradual decline. It was swift and absolute. I put out 3 books in 2016 and 2017 each. Nothing. No interest. No anything. Like I was just...

Yeah, it doesn't matter. I released Out of the Blues November 2015. It's been nearly ten years since then. I've tried so hard to hang on. To keep going. To figure out what I did wrong. Or why the market changed and left me behind. I simply can't forget that end of year round up from a reviewer that tagged me with an honorable mention for Blues "I know everyone hated this book, but..." and that's where I stop. Whatever it was, it ended with that book. That book that spawned millions of page reads and then nothing. The bad reviews for all books to come after. 

I just can't continue to smile and say, I'll figure it out. I'll release another story. I have to face the horrible fact that I was shown the door and missed the social clues and have worn out my welcome. 

I can't continue to smile and pretend to be a person I am not with hopes of selling old books that no one is ever going to read.

And I think... It's time.

This is my final post as Mercy. It's been a hard decision to make. One I should have made a long time ago. I should have just walked away like the others of my time did. It's time to move on. And I never will if I try to keep this pen name alive.

I don't know what to do about my social media. But I will no longer post to this blog. I will keep the book pages up to date. I won't be pulling books from Amazon at the end of the month, but when the Adventure, INK series and the two stand alones fall out of KU that will be the last time I use that service. You can get all of my books at Kobo, and read them free in Kobo Plus, and Apple. I'd prefer you bought them from my Payhip store. And I might try Smashwords again.

Thank you for following along with me all these years. If you've been with me since the beginning, I love you so much, thanks for hanging around through the good times and the bad. But it's time. 

Wishing you nothing but the best.

Peace,

Mercy Celeste

Thank F*CK That Nonsense Is Over!

 Choose a nonsense. I'm open for suggestions. But most of the nonsense is over so it's all good.

Meh... not really. Just the parts that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. 

So, what did we do for the holiday yesterday?

Not one damn thing. Seriously. There's no money for presents. So I didn't present anyone. We had steak for dinner last night. And some pie. 

Finally watched Deadpool & Wolverine. I guess I was saving the guy in the red suit for the other guy in red suit day. All I have to say about it, is how the everlivingfuck did Disney allow that to even be made? I spent most of my time wondering how in the hell this wasn't rated NC-17 at least. Did I hate it? No. Did I like it? Also no. But it has been watched and shall never be mentioned again.

And then I watched Twisters for the fifth time. Because... I just don't know. It's not a great movie. It's a subject that, as a person who lives in tornado prone areas, I tend to avoid. But... it's got an almost great soundtrack. It's fun. Considering the subject. But I think the main two reasons is, that it reminds me of the 80s and 90s blockbuster adventure movies and how good they were, even when they were bad. And the female lead is the actual hero, not the smart girl who the hero has to save. I like that it was a romance. With no romance. I like that there was no villain. It was just young pretty people doing overly dramatic, probably, most likely less than believable things in a place that wasn't New York or Los Angeles and there was an implied HEA. I just wish they hadn't packed the soundtrack so full that you only heard two second snippets of most of the songs. That was too much. It was Romancing the Stone for modern times.

Which brings me back to Fall Guy and why I didn't like that movie. Same premise. But... I watched the original theatrical release on a borrowed library Blu-ray the first time. And I hated it. I'd like to say, that as a person who watched the TV series it was based off of, that I hated it for nostalgia reasons. Not saying it did the series justice, it could have been named anything else, and he could have had any other name, and it would still have been... I don't know. I loved the cover of the KISS song through out. But... okay, there's this style of dialogue that I see a lot lately where the awkward bantering talking over each other thing happens. They did that. I hate it. It feels too ad libby. It irritates my second-hand embarrassment issue. And they did it, and they did it, and they kept doing it. The action scenes were pretty good. The ending was decent. When they all shut up and stopped jabbering nonsense dialogue. I hated that the female lead was petty and took revenge for hurt feelings and punished the male lead because he understandably had (SPOILER STOP READING NOW) he broke his back in a stunt gone wrong and while dealing with that pushed her away. Was it wrong of him to push her away? Of course. But it was doubly wrong for her to not understand that kind of injury does something to a person. And then decide to continue to abuse and humiliate them for it... that's why I hated that movie. They made the females all screeching shrews. And then I watched the director's cut on Peacock. I'm not going to say the issues I had with the theatrical release were fixed by that, no, the jabbering was still there, but some of the stuff that didn't make sense in the theatrical was fixed with the extended scenes. That made it at least watchable. Not five times watchable. But if you're going to watch it, watch the director's cut, at least the major plot problems are sort of fixed. But honestly, I think I really just don't like the two main actors and that might just be the only reason.

And on Monday, it was sunny and warm so we drove to Pensacola to get out of Mobile, just to do the same things we do in Mobile, with the exception of stopping at Barnes & Noble because we don't have one, and at Buc-ees on the interstate. Now if my husband does not go back to work soon, I will...

Uh, in other news, all but five of my books are now available at Apple and Kobo. You can read all of those free with your Kobo Plus subscription, and if you really want to support me, you can buy them with a one dollar discount in my Payhip Store.

Hoping you had a lovely last week.

I'll see ya in the new year.

Peace,

Mercy

PS: If I wrote fan fiction, which I don't, I'd totally write the ending of Twisters as a thruple and be very happy with the whole outcome of that... just sayin' watch the meaningful glances, y'all, watch the eyes.

Another Thursday. Strange how that keeps happening!

 I have to make at least four phone calls that I do not want to make. Two that involve house insurance and two that involve taxes and my LLC. I have yet to receive the Alabama state income refund for last year, it's now December. I have yet to do that federal compliance thing for my LLC. Maybe they're related. I don't know. The house insurance thing is about a policy that was cancelled before it was set to renew, but they submitted the bill to my mortgage company anyway, and mortgage company paid it before I could call them to tell them to ignore that one, they then paid the replacement policy when it came in, and now I am getting letters from the mortgage company about the excessive insurance and that if something isn't done my mortgage will go up in January. While waiting for a check from the first insurance company that doesn't seem to be coming. And you'd think my local agent would be up to date on what is going on with the first policy but apparently not. And since my mortgage is already seven hundred dollars higher than when I originally financed, I can't afford it to go higher.

So yes, right now, I'm again seven hundred short of this month's mortgage payment. And fuck all if I know what to do about it right now. If, they said, I make three special payments, they will do a loan mitigation in January and the rate will go down. And if mortgage interest rates are lower then, the payment will be even less. That's all I'm trying to get through. That seven hundred more a month may as well be seven million. 

Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

I'm tired of dealing with shit. 

So, yeah, no, this is as Christmasy as it will get here. I'm just trying to keep a roof over our heads, the rest of it isn't happening.

Not asking for anything. Just talking.

Now about the books and the reason I have this blog:

Last days for the next batch of books still in Kindle Unlimited. At midnight on the 24, 10 or so will fall out, and I do not plan to put them back. There will be six left in KU until January 24. I will leave all books on Amazon until then. I'll make the final decision to pull everything completely then. Again, it would be cutting off my nose to spite my face, but no book sales anywhere is no book sales, right?

I don't know. I have good days when a whole bunch of books are bought. then many days of no sales at all. Still waiting for Kobo Plus for last month. I hate that they still don't have real time borrows in K+. I hate that it takes a month to see what those borrows were. I do like that I'm not forced to be exclusive, and that they pay for multiple reads by the same borrower. Those are plus to Plus. I guess. 

There's a part of me that is seriously thinking about taking my husband's entire paycheck tomorrow and driving to Florida and buying a couple thousand lottery tickets.

Wonder what the chances of breaking even would be?

SIGHS!

Why yes I should write a new book. Why yes I should write more books. Why yes. I know this. I'd have to set up a crowd fund for covers and editing to do so. And get past the hates everybody and everything thing I have going on. It would be dark and ugly. But the books that did well were written right after my father died and they were dark and ugly so I guess that's the answer to that isn't it.

SIGHS! AGAIN!

It is what it is. I wont talk about the last five books doing absolutely nothing in sales. And not wanting to continue that pattern. Or I could just write straight smut and move on. Or... close everything down and go back to ebay sales full time. I know I have to sell the house. Right now I won't make a dime and rents around here are barely less than what I'm paying for much less space.

I don't know what to do. So I'm going to bitch about it.

Don't mind me.

I will probably talk to you the day after Christmas.

So wishing you the best for the season. Or, if you're like me, just a nice day home. Maybe I'll drive over to Buc-ees and piss some people off again this year. Seems like a tradition to keep going.

Happy, Merry, Blessed, Joy Joy

Peace,

Mercy

Ahh, Thursday, my old nemesis

 Back again I see!!!

I don't know what it is about Thursday. I rarely ever notice what day it is until Thursday rolls around. 

Anyway, slogging along.

We're almost to the end of this month and year and first half of a decade, if you count from zero up, if you count from one up then next year. Most people count from one as we did at the millennium. I mean last century was the 20th, which means it ended with twenty. The new century started the first day of 2001. So, there. You can argue all you want, but we didn't start counting up in the year zero. You don't call a new born baby zero years old. But since we did start this millennium in the year zero then this is the end of the mid-decade by default.

Not the point.

Not sure there is a point. To anything. At all. Anymore.

We're just here, we pay some bills, we try to survive, maybe we have some kids to repeat the cycle, then we die and become lost to time. 

Or we could talk about planners and the two I have for next year that I will never really use and my thoughts on 18 v 12 month formats.

Or we could talk about the weather. It's cold. I'm cold. I don't like being cold. The sun is shining. I want to hibernate. I can't, I have more bills than money and each month seems to be more on the bills side than the money side. Gotta go out and get that dough somehow. I have ugly feet or I'd consider selling pics of them. Alas, can't even do that.

Wonders if a romance between a person who sells foot pics and another person who falls in love with their feet meet in real life and... nah, that's just creepy.

But then half the romances out there are somewhat creepy. I'm no prude. I write some insane shit. But sometimes the most prudish people write the most deranged rapey fetish stuff... have you noticed that? 

But that leads to a convo that will devolve into politics and I don't want to go down that path.

Ever.

I'm a damn Anarchist, politically. I live in a society in which I believe we should all work together for the betterment of human, animal, and planet kind. So therefor I side with the left. Because I like to drive on roads without holes in them and bridges that don't fall down, and I did not want to homeschool my children because those fuckers could drive dry paint crazy. (Smart kids can come up with the craziest shit) 

I believe in a world that has never existed and never will exist, at least not in my lifetime. I do not believe in religion. Or much of any thing organized. But I am not all hippie-dippie love and whatever that was. I actively hate much of humanity. We live in a world of hate and honestly fuck them assholes who seek to suppress others.

So that's my politics. The shit I don't talk about. And won't talk about on social media. I don't watch the news. I don't want to discuss world events. I loathe people who do. I am very aware of what is going on but I can't stay sane in a world of doom scrolling. And neither can you. It's all propaganda. All of it. And it will destroy you.

So, now that we're done talking about just about everything else... 

uh... 

Why do you still bother reading my rantings? I mean there's only about ten of you still reading this. So why?

I don't actively publish anymore. I haven't finished writing a damn thing in more than two years. And this is a blog for my pen name. Mercy should be blogging about book stuff. Instead, Marcia blogs about all the shit that filters through my head. And if you read it all you have to wonder how many personalities I have.

Just the one. But it's autistic, ADHD, and super dependent on how much sleep or stress it's under at any given time. Some days are not so very good mental days. Some days are hyperactive mental days. And some days are reflective. When I figure out what today is, I'll let you know.

Okay, just so we keep some sort of writing talk alive, remember, I have 9 or so titles that will leave Kindle Unlimited at the dawn of Christmas Eve. I have no plans to return any books to KU ever again. 

I'm still debating removing all books from Amazon completely, but that's still where the bulk of my two hundred bucks a month in royalties comes from. I don't like the creator of that site and yes, he is still the major stockholder if not the CEO. But, it will be actually cutting off my nose to spite my face.

Don't ask me what books are leaving. I don't know right now. Not the Adventure INK series. The Cold and Lace series yes. I can't find the notebook where I have all of that written down. And I don't feel like searching for it now.

And about social media and where I am and where I am not and where I'm considering not being.

I deleted my Twitter and Threads accounts. I'm considering leaving Instagram. I don't like the picture format because I don't take a lot of photos and I don't want to spend my time formating pictures I've lifted from the internet to play on there. And the no active links thing and well, I'm not a social person, if I can't use it to direct people to the places to help me pay my bills then what is the point of being there.

Despite my feelings for the owner of Meta, which isn't good, and getting worse by the day due to his politics, I will not leave FB. I prefer the FB format to all others. Despite the algorithm suppression of links. 

I am on BlueSky now. I'm trying. It's very much like old Twitter, and I didn't do well on Twitter. I feels like flinging shit into the breeze to see what sticks. Constantly. I don't like to constantly be active in social media. And I feel like I'm bothering people with spam when I try to promote my books.

Obviously I prefer long form content like this. And if it gets seen, it gets seen, if it doesn't, it's still here, in a logical row to be seen later.

And TikTok. My autistic squirrel bait brain loves TikTok, I could, and have spent hours on there a day. I don't create anything there. I just watch content. And if it does go away next month... I fear the only thing keeping me sane is TikTok and that's about the state of it all right now.

Go to Amazon, search for Mercy Celeste, scroll down, click the KU tab, you'll find everything still in KU, if you missed it, grab it.

Oh, and as a heads up, when those books come out of KU, the prices will go up. Inflation, you know.

Laters.

Mercy