And we're at the halfway mark of this year. How'd that happen? I'm pretty sure I've gone completely gray this year from the stress of... waves vaguely at everything.
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in to say that I've dropped the prices of nearly all of my books on every site they are available on to 2.99 or 3.99, US, and the equivalent outside the US. Except for the one series. You'll figure it out if you're looking. I have books on Amazon, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords, click the covers >>>> for details and buy links.
But since I have you here, maybe I'll talk about writing and that I'm maybe actually doing that again. Slowly. Angrily. Okay, not angrily, just... I make myself sit and type words every day or so. Mostly I'm trying to jumpstart whatever used to make me want to write. Mostly I'm hate writing what I'm writing.
What I'm writing is a story I started four years ago. I abandoned it. I've abandoned everything I've started in the last five or so years. I don't know. I lost the love of writing. I lost the reasons I wrote. The awful parts of publishing killed what I had left. And that's where I still am. PTSD! I write until I hit the panic attack part of it all. And that kicks the overly critical part of my brain into overdrive. It's bad. So bad. I suck. If I finish this it will be just for me because no one cares. Or worse. People will read it and tear it to shreds. If I don't finish it it can't be torn to shreds. Does it matter, until I finish that fucking football series nothing will sell. Good bad... doesn't matter. I hate that fucking football series with a fire I can't even begin to explain to anyone. I wish I'd never written it.
Does that sound bitter and angry? Sorry. It isn't. It's sad. I hate feeling that way. I hate the reason I wrote the first one. I hate the way the second one was torn to shreds. I loathe the third one. The rest don't matter. Don't even bother with them. The only reason you can still find those four is due to piracy. If I don't offer it, the pirates will. And that leads to the other part of why I don't write. Piracy killed me financially. As a 100% self-funded indie author I depended on the sales from legitimate book sellers to survive. And I didn't survive.
But I'm trying to figure out who I am as a writer. If I'm even a writer anymore. Yes, I write about this quite often. It's what I struggle with. I wanted to be a writer since the 9th grade when I read The Outsiders just before the movie came out. (yes I'm that old) But I have no stories to tell anymore. And if I do the trauma of the middle years of my career destroyed my confidence. Of which I've never had much of.
If I do ever publish again, it won't be MM. Sorry. Most likely it won't be romance. I don't know what it will be. I don't know what the book I'm working on is. And I've written 71 thousand words so far of whatever it is.
But I digressed too far.
If you haven't grabbed one of my books, go grab it now while it's on sale. Or go get a free trial month of Kobo Plus to read most of them free. Try something other than the football books. I have 24 other options.
Hope you are... waves vaguely again... doing as well as can be expected.
Peace
Mercy
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