Let's Talk Turkey!

 I mean, not THAT turkey. It's still not Halloween yet, and I don't like the turkey holiday, or turkey. But, anyway, let's talk books and writing and what I'd like to do in the coming months.

First, let me say this once more, I have no plans to write any sequels to any current books, anytime soon. 

Why? You are asking, because I can hear you asking why why why when when when insert either series in here... 

Well, because the writing/publishing business is harsh. And the reality is, the second book in the one series and every single book post the third one in the other series failed to make enough money to support the continuation of those series. 

And the second, lesser important reason, I burnt out on those characters and never want to write them ever again, but that could always change.

I'm mean. I'm rude. I know. I've been told. Many times.

That doesn't change the hard fact that none of the sequels earned money. I can't track pirate sites or sharing. I can only track official sales and page read invoices. And I did. Religiously. Three of the four Scrimmage books haven't even crossed the thousand units paid mark after years. Diva did okay, it's around two thousand units paid after nine years. I made back what I spent on it. That's about it. But the thing is nine hundred million people have read it, it seems. I don't know if the other three sequels, one direct, made the pirate site rounds as no one has asked about them. But, that just tells me more about the interest in that series. All I can do is take my hard data and come to the conclusion that there is no interest and go from there.

Am I being a bitch when I say, if you got my books for free from a site that I did not approve the use of, then you stole my book. Therefore, you do not have the right to bitch me out because I stopped writing.

If you procured my book through official means, whether buying or KU or Kobo Plus, then you are not the problem, and thank you for your support. I wish there were more of you. I really do.

As an independent, self-publishing, writer, I pay for everything out of my pocket. I pay for the covers. I pay for editing. I pay for certain formatting. I pay for promotion. I spend months writing, more months rewriting, months editing. Long months. Tons of hours. To put out the best book I can. Now, we don't always catch all of the editing mistakes. Or I choose to ignore editing advice to fit my voice. And yes, there have been mistakes. But, guess what, you'll find that is an industry wide thing. Including "real" published books. Words are hard. Things slip past. It happens. Move on.

The point is, I've written several books in the past few years that never earned a damned thing. I took it hard. Every single book released since 2016 failed. I've pushed them. I've begged. I've done everything I know to do, but they still remained unwanted. 

So, that's where we are, two days before the 2026 fiscal book year begins. Ten years of little to no interest in anything new I write. So, I stopped. If there was a message being sent, I received it. Mercy is unwanted. Except those damn sequels that still don't sell well on official sites.

Yes, I'm kinda bitter about it. 

The industry changed in those ten years. I couldn't keep up with it. I had personal tragedies to deal with first. Today, nine years ago, my mother died, leaving me a mess to clean up, financially, and every other way imaginable. My brother and sister made probate hell. It took three years to settle her "estate". The mental anguish of dealing with people you once loved after the death of a parent damn near destroyed me. And still, all these years later, I'm unhealed. Everything I tried to write in the first years after was horrible, angry, dark, so dark, I feared for my sanity. When you already write dark fiction and you fall into an abyss... I thought I'd never return if I followed through with any of those stories. Sometimes I still wonder if I'd return if I followed those two series to their conclusions, but that's not the point.

The point is, ten years. It's been ten long years of trying to drag myself back to even a tiny percent of what I had at the beginning of 2015. Of struggling to push stories no one wants. Of wondering what I did wrong. Of trying to keep up with the industry. 

And I have to wonder if this is it.

I've talked about ending this in the past. Of putting Mercy out of my misery. Of finally getting the message and moving on. 

I am so very bitter that it just died, seemingly, over night. After Out of the Blues, and the horrible reviews and backhanded compliments of a book that sold a fuck ton... then nothing. Like a switch flipped off. 

I just don't know what to say or do. 

Sometimes, someone, somewhere, finds Beyond Complicated and I make a little money. I'll maybe make four hundred dollars this month because someone somewhere started up some interest earlier this month but that's died off now. 

The twin book still sells a couple books a month despite the price, and that I don't have direct links to it anywhere. 

But that's about it. The twisted books. 

But I can't write that anymore. Soo... 

Here I am on the precipice, once again, of what to do, versus what I want to do.

What I want to do is write, to carry on like I mean to carry on. What I can't do, is pay for even a book cover now. Much less three rounds of edits. Or promotion. I can't do promotion to save my life now.

I've played with the idea of a jumpstarter campaign to pay for new covers and formatting to put the older books in paperback. Or even audio. But I don't follow through because I don't think I have enough interested parties to help fund anything. Or, I don't want to find out that I don't have the support I need. Either way... 

Here we are. Cold, hard, truths. For you, and for me.

I want to continue. I can't afford to continue. And... that's about the best I can say.

I'd like to start with Under a Crescent Moon. I'd like a new cover. I'd like to take it to print. Moon is blocked from Kindle Unlimited. There's nothing I can do about that. I've considered changing the title, but don't want to risk it. I'd like to see more sales, to maybe tell me there's interest in a sequel. Because once that book left KU it died. 

I'd like to pay for discreet covers for the main four books in the scrimmage series and both the Cold and Lace series. I like the e-covers for all of my series books and now that they all match each other I don't want to change them. But I would like to put out paperbacks that look good and match the current covers. 

I've considered changing my strictly straight books to a new pen name and updating and refreshing them. It's not a priority. Just a thought. I'd like to write more straight stories. Again, not a priority.

I need to refresh the covers for Beyond Complicated and Shift in Time. I want to put them in paperback but that's not a large priority. I've never had much interest in print books when I had them out.

I'd like to start with my shorter stories and do some audio. The problem is, I won't ever go back to Audible, and I can't afford to pay for production out of pocket. And audio is expensive. Very expensive. And, even if I could afford to pay for production, I don't know where to host it. 

I feel like, if I can somehow handle the financial aspects, I can focus on something new for 2026. But, that's a me problem. And I don't know how to fix that problem without feeling like I'm begging.

So, I don't ask for help. I just hope something happens and word of mouth starts somewhere that all of my books are sitting trapped in KU for two more months and it costs nothing to try out the newer books. And hope for the best.

I'm not going to post links. If you've read this and would like to help me fund a refresh of Under a Crescent Moon to start, my Ko-Fi and Venmo links are in my linktree found under the ABOUT tab in the menu bar. the last four digits of my phone number if Venmo asks is 3340. Or maybe visit the store tab and pick up a book you might be missing from your library.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for hanging around, and for everything. 

Peace,

Mercy