Monday, November 25, 2024

The Post I Didn't Want to Write

 I have put this off for weeks now. I don't like asking for help. I've done it a few times. I feel embarrassed and humiliated and like a failure. I try not to ask. I try to handle it alone. I try and I fail. And I hate like hell that I'm writing this to once again ask for help.

As you may know, earlier this year my husband had a major cardiac event. Not a heart attack exactly. He spent a while in the hospital and a bit longer of a while on unpaid leave from work to recover. We've used all of our miniscule amount of savings to cover what we could. But we are struggling. I was able to keep my house out of foreclosure by agreeing to a special 3 month repayment plan. And this month I can't make it. It's like everything that can go wrong, has. And the robbing Peter to pay Paul system I've been using the past few months finally caught up with me. I say me. Because it's me. I handle the bills. I stress the finances. I make the hard decisions. And because every single financial hit this year seems to hit me the hardest. Book sales died to nothing. I just can't go on. I can't sell the house. I could, but I've maxed out my equity staying out of foreclosure. If I sell I will walk away with nothing. Rent somewhere else would be the same or higher. I have three pets. I can't file personal bankruptcy to keep the house out of foreclosure because I don't make enough money to pay the bankruptcy fees much less restructure payments.

I am quite literally good and screwed.

And Monday I will be foreclosed on. Me. My house. The one I financed with my book earnings and the downpayment I'd saved from royalties. My forever home. And I will be homeless.

That's it. That's where we are. Where I am.

And I hate asking for help, because I feel like I'm begging. 

But please, if you have a little you could spare to help. Or if you'd like to buy my paperback books or my handmade jewelry... I'd greatly appreciate it. Not going to lie, it's a lot. But right now, anything to help get me to the point I can refinance the house out of the special finance program that would be great. And I thank you. I will post my links below, or you can find them all in the about me menu.

Thanks.

Mercy

My Ko-fi account.

My Ko-fi Shop

My Payhip Shop

My Venmo account (last digits of phone are 3340 if needed)

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