Friday, August 16, 2024

Still Here!

 Yes, I missed the Patreon thing. I apologize. I should have uploaded the second installment today. I am not ready to do that yet. It's finished, that's not the problem. The problem is time. I have not had time to focus on this idea. I have so much going on outside of writing that I'm having a hard time finding a stray minute get any of this done. Again, my apologies.

Monday, Aubrey starts college. We've tried to do some family things before we try to figure out this new routine. But, this is it. The last weekend of summer for the youngest. I've been watching the little kids walking past the house from the school bus in their little uniforms and it seems like just yesterday Aubrey was one of them. Knee high to a butterfly with little blonde falling apart braids dragging a My Little Pony back pack along behind them.

Sniffs.

Now, grown up college kid. This is number 4. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. But there's an 11 year gap between Aubrey and number 3. 15 year gap between them and my oldest. It's been a minute since I've done the whole college transition thing.

Anyway, with luck I'll be able to get the house out of foreclosure soon. I've made too many phone calls that take all of my spoons. I need to sell. We don't need a house this big anymore. I need to pay for some repairs before I can list it. I don't have the money to do those repairs. Not if I want to walk away with some money to use for a new place. 

Or I need someone to send me a winning lottery ticket from somewhere that has lottery. We don't. Alabama is one of the very few states that doesn't. 

Ah, if I won the lottery. Like a big one. I would... well, the bucket list trip is to cross the Atlantic on a luxury liner, I think the QE2 from New York, and spend a summer in Ireland and the UK, but mostly Ireland. That would be nice. After that, I don't know. I kinda want to buy a bit of land not in an HOA and put a few small houses on it so everyone has their own, and just... be alone. 

If I was ten years younger and less broken, in body, and spirit, the answer would be different. The urge to travel passed a long time ago. I just want to have no stress and be comfortable. I've never wanted a large life. Maybe when I was 18. But, I don't know. I think that was just a wish to escape an abusive childhood. I'm old now. Everything is different. If I outlive my mother I'll be lucky. I definitely won't outlive my grandmothers. Mortality kicks hard knowing, barring accidents, that you're on the downward slope. 

Ah, morbid. Sorry. No I'm not thinking about death. I'm thinking about what I want to do with the time I have left. A small cottage. Room enough just for me. No rush. No demands on my time. No arguing. No drama. Boring as hell. And a trip to Ireland. Is that too much to want?

Now if the genie and three wishes thing would happen with no repercussions. I want my health issues to disappear. I'd like to try to outlive my maternal grandmother, and be just as much of a menace in my 90s. 

I'm feeling a bit melancholy so before this gets anymore maudlin, let's just say this, it's too late to start the Patreon thing now. I will start it on September 1st. I will still do one installment each week in September until finished. And we'll see how that goes for something in October.

How does that sound?

Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Peace,

Mercy


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